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Although she was conscious of her Afro-Brazilian heritage, she had few black friends growing up. The city she lived in and schools she attended were mostly white.
But when she moved to Campinas, a city of 1 million approximately two hours outside of Sao Paulo, she decided to be proactive. Thaisa joined Afrodengo , an Afro-Brazilian dating community on Facebook.
His name was Jackson Xavier. She reached out to him on Facebook and they immediately started talking. Two days later, they went out on their first date. She instantly liked his intelligence, responsibility and the way he cared for her. He liked her stubbornness, humor and intelligence as well. Five months later, the couple were married. As Jackson explains:. But once I entered the group, I started to focus more on having a relationship with a black person like me because we have similar experiences.
The black movement is very strong on the internet, so I entered the group wanting to see more beautiful black people and to have references in my life to black things. Now Afro-Brazilians are flocking to the Afrodengo Facebook group to build relationships that they never before considered having. She explains:.
Having relationships between black people is a way to combat racism. Only a black person will know how racism affects you and its consequences in our lives. In a society where we learn to hate ourselves, if we unite with people like us, then we can combat racism with something as simple as having a conscious family.
Within a week, it exploded—with both members and photos. Today the group is still going strong; having produced at least two marriages and countless couples and friendships. There are more than , members in the main group and its affiliates which focus on LGBT members, Christians and body positivity. For African Americans, a dating site for black people seems obvious.
But for Brazilians, communities restricted by race are always frowned upon. White Brazilians also want to be a part of the group. Soon after they broke up, she tried her hand at online dating and even created a profile on Tinder. Her behavior was like some other women I met in Montes Claros who also were targets of gossip and seemed to be offending traditional gender attitudes that were hegemonic in that context.
While feeling she had more freedom living in another town, Maysira mentioned her strong attachment to her family. She told me she had quit a love relationship because her mother thought her boyfriend was not good for her. She said it was a difficult decision, but she ended up agreeing with her mother because he was unfaithful. She admitted her family was right and chose to stay with them. Maysira: I think she [Lia] is a strong, determined, responsible character.
She is firm in her decisions. She decided one thing and did not go back. She wanted it, wanted something, I mean her boyfriend, and her father did not want him. I went through the same thing!
But I stayed with my family, protected. Maysira: Exactly. What is this? She is here, with him. Lia is similar to other telenovela characters in terms of her attitude and a gender construction that a woman has to break up with her family, and affirm her individuality, to reach true love.
Viewers do not watch just one telenovela; they are a continuous part of their everyday lives for years. People like Maysira who enjoy telenovelas watch most of them, make lots of associations about past narratives, and remember many stories. Maysira herself had a great memory of them, recalling the plots, soundtracks, actors, and actresses of each one. Even though Lia did not have a professional career, she almost did not notice that point.
She just saw the aspect of the character that she most identified with and dreamed of. An independent woman was something she wanted to be and Lia was the character that best fit her expectations toward this construction. When she talked about her plans for the future she showed these ideas, although she was still economically dependent on her mother:. First I need to study a lot to have a good job, than I can buy my house. My dream is to have my own house. And preferably with my money. Berenice had another life history, and analyzed Lia through a different point of view.
Berenice and her husband Bernardo were around 60 and very attached to the Catholic Church. They described their lives as a continuous and successful struggle to raise five children, all adults and married. Their three daughters were teachers like Berenice, a reason for pride in a lower-middle-class family. For them, to have a united and loving family was the most important aspect in life. They regretted some changes they saw in life in Montes Claros, such as the increasing rate of divorce and the fact that girls were starting their sexual lives before marriage, and they saw many of those cases as a bad influence from TV.
Berenice was a real telenovela fan, tried to pay attention to all details and turns in the narrative, and enjoyed very much the cattle king himself. As Bruno, the cattle king, in the beginning of the story did not pay attention to his family, and after divorce brought his girlfriend Luana to live with him, he was not considered a good righteous father. Bernardo: It is this negligence coming from the family, from the husband to his children and wife.
I mean, they are a good example of a misfit family. Then, what right has he to demand from his children? He has no right.
Lia gets laid with the guitar player, Marcos with the other girl. Nevertheless, if family relations on the narrative were not the ideal, they realized that this was happening everywhere, particularly in big cities. Many times I saw this association between television and big cities.
Berenice told me she admired Lia when she tried to mediate and create a closer relationship between her father and brother in conflictive moments, as well as trying to keep a better relation among them and toward her mother after her parents got divorced. Berenice: I like Lia very much.
Lia is so cute. She always tries to make peace between her father and her brother; she tries to help when there is conflict. I like her very much. For Berenice, it was not sensible when Lia ran away with Pirilampo, but it was understandable and forgivable in the context of a big city, and also counterbalanced in a way because she was being a good daughter and sister. Those are two very different readings and interpretations of Lia. This difference reveals opposing personal contexts, points of view, and subjectivities through which the relation with the telenovela is established.
Those two examples show distinct views about gender and behavior patterns. Their main difference is in terms of age, and their features discussed here make these two examples similar to other women of their age and social class. I chose to stress here the difference in terms of generations, proposing that they might reveal cultural changes across the years.
I want to point to another matter concerning gender: body construction, particularly beauty and fashion patterns, promoted through TV and telenovelas.
Our worst were this trip to Brazil which dates back to and Poland we visited just a few years ago. University of Texas: Austin. Kecia 34 Date adult naughtys campinas. Travel Forums. Thus, to consider oneself discreet is not only an affirmation of masculinity but of normality, which signifies commitment to a collective order. Almost every single day I heard a news like someone got assulted or murdered by a bandit in public place, even in their own house from time to time, also a teenage girl got pregnant by her boyfriend and he ran away to have fun with other girl. However I have to agree 50, 60, and 70 years old women and old people in general tend to be very disrespectful and loud towards everyone and poverty stricken areas can be hard to avoid.
Lia, the character, and the actress who portrayed her matched all the requirements for the good interaction between telenovela and the promotion of beauty, strict body constructions, and a consumerist feminine style. As mentioned earlier, telenovelas usually launch and promote fashion throughout the country, popularizing what had been somewhat restricted to an elite.
These body patterns are also strong gender constructions. Nevertheless, to reach that type, besides a lot of work and discipline, capital is needed. Considering social inequalities in Brazil, those body patterns are inaccessible to most women. Maysira, for example, never reached the body and weight she desired and was always unhappy about her looks.
Besides tyranny and control over women as Bordo emphasizes, , p.