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He and his younger brother decided to leave North Korea during the Korean war in He left his other brothers and his mother and father behind because it was too dangerous to bring them along. He traveled south until he met up with the U. The U. So, they were put in prison. When he got out of North Korea, he kept going to the southernmost part of South Korea. He became a policeman there and met my grandmother. And the funny thing is that a guy from the very north fell in love with a girl from the very south.
We wanted to bring our children too. We actually got them to China through a broker. But they refused to come to South Korea and returned to the North.
They were educated according to the North Korean philosophy, and they were willing to follow it. So, my kids stayed in North Korea.
We sometimes also talk using a phone near the Chinese border. They are doing fine. My son is a trumpet player in the army orchestra. I think my daughter is a housewife now. We sent a lot of wedding presents, and they recently had a child. I just received news that I am a grandmother! Clearly, I miss all of those things. I always care for my daughter no matter where I am. But, of course, I want to see my grandchild. For him, I want reunification. I want him to have the freedom to do what he wants.
In my experience, South Koreans are hostile to refugees. I really wanted to hide my accent, so I tried to not speak a lot and instead used a lot of gestures, like talking with my eyes and smiling. There is also a lot of competition between refugees due to limited funding sources. At first I thought I should be careful, and not tell people who I was. So I told them I was a Chinese-Korean. When I first came to South Korea, I just wanted to spend my career earning a lot of money and becoming rich because I had been so poor before.
We are North Korean defectors, and we have certain things that we have to do for our children and for the other people like us. Korean reunification is in the hands of the North Korean people, not its leaders. When Kim Il-sung died, my generation expected that this would trigger some kind of change. Kim Jong-il was, in fact, much more of a dictator than his father was, and things got much worse.
I hear that, today, with Kim Jong-un, things are much better economically. I think that the whole North Korean regime will have to change in order by be reunified with South Korea. It has to collapse from the inside. I think the reunification is difficult because all the high officers in North Korea have much more wealth and power than those in South Korea. They will not be willing to just give this up. Of course, the Kim family will also not want to let go of their power.
Only North and South Koreans have the power to bring reunification. We have to do it by ourselves. I think Americans may be able to act as a third-party moderators but only if they act as advisors.
America should not dictate these decisions or our policy. When Germany was reunified, it was very surprising.
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There is no divide. Of course I agree with reunification, but I think we need a lot of preparation beforehand. Otherwise, reunification will have more of a negative effect than a positive one because both North and South Korea are very immature. In South Korea for example, I see too many ideological struggles.
There is a story about a North Korean defector who became a government officer in Seoul. The media portrayed him as a spy, and the South Korean people reacted in a very extreme way. These kinds of extreme and immature responses disappointed me. These opinions make it difficult for North Korean defectors to be accepted into South Korea society. I also wanted reunification when I was in North Korea. The problem is, South Koreans often determine the value of others by what they own or which school they go to. If we achieved reunification, North Koreans would have a lower status in society, creating a new class conflict.
A lot of North Koreans think that Korea is still divided because of the U. I kindly say that America is a very nice country, and you guys are very nice people. I was very shocked to hear this. Some people told me that if the Americans were not here, we would be at war again with North Korea. I think that reunification is impossible. In North Korean society, dating is considered a morally bad thing. I was very pro-government, and I took the rules kind of seriously; o dating was something I never did. I kind of regret it now. When I returned to North Korea in to get my mother and siblings out, there were a lot of young couples holding hands and wearing make up.
But it was only in the evening, not in the daytime. A businessman from China once stayed with my family when he came to negotiate trade with North Korea. He was 26 years old.
He wanted to get close to my father who, as a Government news broadcaster and spy, could help him secure his business. I believe he paid my father black money. Since I worked for my father, I had to stay with this man all the time to keep an eye on him. Today, when he describes his first experience in our house, he says we had a different lifestyle than other North Korean families he had visited.
Because our family had four daughters and no sons, he became like a son. And he fell in love with me.
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He says that it was love at first sight. He eventually had to return to China but would regularly send men to my family to try to convince me to come to China. And one day without any plan, I just decided to go with him. When you get the chance to talk to this woman, you ask her for a date directly.
North Korean society is somewhat conservative, and many people believe they have to keep their purity until marriage. She actually got mad at me for this. She even asked me whether or not I was a man. When I came to South Korea, the culture of dating was different. I found out that South Koreans are more free to express their affection in public places.
Couples go to see movies, go to dinner and just walk around. I realized dating should be not only about spending time together but should also aim for some larger purpose. When I starting dating my current wife, we spent productive time together by reading books, going to the mountain, studying and having discussions about what we were studying. We had something in common because she was also from North Korea, and she went through similar experiences.
She could understand me better than anybody else. Frontline: Secret State of North Korea.
Assembled and maintained by the Conflict Kitchen staff. Wikitravel — North Korea. This is an open-source wiki for those interested in actually traveling to North Korea.